DM f-ing V

A few years ago when I went to the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my NY State ID, there was a five hour wait for service. A FIVE hour wait (the estimated waiting time is printed on the ticket you pick up when you enter, that's how you know). I actually walked back home, took a shower, read a book, had lunch, watched TV. I returned to the DMV just as they called my number.

Yesterday I went to the DMV again, this time to get my driver's license permit. Everything went smoothly. I took a written test for my driver's license (passed it), got my picture taken (looking fabulous as always), did my vision test (passed it), and paid the fee (credit card approved). All within 45 minutes. Unbelievable.

The only weird part was that the DMV lady who was processing my paper work kept falling asleep. That's never good. At first I wasn't sure what was going on, she just stopped writing and kept the pen glued to the approval document. Was there something wrong with my information?? After twenty seconds or so she would come to it and start writing again. Then she'd dose off again. I became a little unsure of how to act. Should I tap her shoulder and wake her up? "Excuse me, can you just finish writing down the information that will go on MY DRIVER'S LICENSE, and nap later....?"

I decided not to reach over and touch this woman. I decided it would be better to pretend nothing is going on. She's not asleep, she's handling my stuff perfectly.

The dosing-off episodes continued and I started to worry that the lady might be experiencing partial seizures. The symptoms can be quite similar. How awful of me to ignore her seizures! What do I do, what do I do, what do I do, my license, my license, my license, I want my license (or something less selfish).

Luckily, another DMV person walked by and woke the lady up. Sleeping lady with my important documents muttered: "Maaaan, I'm sooo tired today....."

I still got out of there within 45 minutes. Unbelievable.

Babies galore

Every block around where I live and work is crowded with couples and their babies. Strollers, pregnant ladies, daddies with babybjorn carriers, babies crying, babies laughing, babies talking gibberish, babies taking their first steps, more pregnant ladies - this is what I see ALL day long.

Park Slope has long been known as a "baby-stroller-neighborhood" (at least for the past 10 years or so), but the babies are spreading. For example, Carroll Gardens currently has the highest concentration of babies between 1-3 years old per square mile in the country - in the country. How did this happen? Why in Brooklyn?

My theory is that all the hipsters that lived in Williamsburg and Dumbo back in the '90s finally matured and got fancy jobs. No way any self-respecting Brooklynite would move to the suburbs to do the 'family-thing', so they all they coupled up and moved to the brownstone belt to procreate. I think that's cool. I do. I'm not against any of this... Although the whole baby thing has gotten a little bit out of control, can't deny that...

I have to go snuggle with my cats now.

Egg & Cheese please

I go to the coffee shop to get my usual egg and cheese sandwich that I always get during my break at work (=in between massage appointments).

The coffee guy behind the counter says:
- "Hey, you didn't pay for your sandwich last time you were here!"
- "Really, I didn't...?"
- "No, I remember now, now that I see your face and all, you didn't pay last time."
- "Oh, I'm so sorry... let me pay for it now then, I can't remember what happened last time."

And then the coffee guy tells me not to worry about it - "it's fine" - and I think: "cool, that means I got a free sandwich." But then I see the grumpy look on his face and he says "you know, I shouldn't even have mentioned it, since I'm not even gonna charge you" so I say:
"hey, I have a twenty right here, just charge me twice for the sandwich I'm getting now." And he does.

As I sit down to eat I'm thinking it's good that we sorted that out; I don't want to be remembered as the girl who didn't pay for her food, especially since I go there every week. But then I'm thinking, what if this dude is wrong? Maybe I DID pay him and he was just spacing out at the time...

Inevitably, I have to think of him as the guy who charged me twice for a stupid sandwich.

Signature

The unfortunate proliferation of those pushy 20-something-years-old "activists" that stop people on the streets to get a signature (or maybe money) for whatever cause they're into is the biggest nuisance of the summer.

"Miss, do you have a minute for the environment? Just a minute? A few seconds??" they ask, clip boards in hands. I never stop to chat. I don't want to. I have places to be, people to see. It's not that I don't care about the environment. I do. I just don't feel like talking to these kids, they're obnoxious. But of course I feel a tiny bit guilty when I walk on, ignoring the environment.

Sometimes I reply with a firm "no" as I walk by, just to get them off my back. That makes me feel even worse. Picture this:

"Miss, do you care about missing children?"
"NO!"
or
"Miss, do you support gay rights?"
"NO!"
or
"Miss, do you want to help animals?"
"NO!"

They're slick too. They have one activist facing one way and another activist facing the other way - this way they have you completely ambushed on the sidewalk, whether you're heading uptown or downtown. Here comes the smile, the waving of the clip board and the beginning of the spiel - "Hey Miss!"

I want them to leave.

Active

I just got promoted from being a 'probie' on the ambulance to an 'active'. Wohoo. This means that I will not be stuck in the back during non-calls, and I probably won't have to sit on the milk crate in between the front seats either. Being active means I have passed the initiation period and I get to ride shot gun from now on. Unless a more senior person comes out and takes that spot. That's possible.

"10-4"

I have a police & emergency-services radio scanner at home. I love it. It's totally legal to own one, believe it or not.

My excuse for owning one is that I want to develop a "good ear" for when I'm out on the ambulance, you know, I'll learn all the codes by listening, instead of just memorizing them from a long boring list.

But truthfully, it's also just pretty awesome to listen to. I turn the radio on to see what's going on in the city before I go to sleep - robberies, fires, unlawful urination, cardiac arrests, choking kid, stolen vehicles, smoke conditions, domestic disputes - it all comes spurting out of my radio, complete with addresses, suspect descriptions, and which units are responding.

If listening to this seems a little odd, or maybe even creepy, it's not nearly as morbid as keeping the radio in your private car and driving to the scene of the crime/accident just because you want to see the drama first hand. One of my paramedics instructors said she used to do this before she got her EMT license. Now if I did something like that, I would not tell anyone about it.

At any rate, I just have my radio to learn the dispatch codes.

Hazy

You know it's time to clean the kitchen and take out the garbage when one of the cats starts scraping his paw against the floor as if trying to bury something nasty. It's just so hard to do anything in this humidity, let alone clean. aaaaah.... but I guess if the cats are starting to clean up, I should too.