Hammock

A bunch of hipsters live two backyards north of us. They rent the bottom floor of a brownstone just like us, and their yard is filled with hammocks. Like 6 or 7 of them. At least. They throw parties all the time and I'm sure their hipster friends hang out in the hammocks during such events.

The other day I peaked into their place, as I always do when I go get coffee, and it hit me - I have a fucking hammock at home! Fuck, we're going to have a fucking hammock in the backyard too! The hammock is not really mine, but who cares. Someone left it behind in my old college Williamsburg apartment that I shared with a couple of friends, and when we all moved I took the hammock. I have a hammock!

The hammock is kind of scary to be in. I was all gungho putting it up and all, but I get kind of nauseas lying in it. I get motion sick. I'm also afraid that it's going to collapse and I will hit my back hard against the ground. And I'm scared that it will sort of start twisting around, entangling me, and then spitting me out on the hard ground. Or worse, what if it traps me and I can't get out. I also worry about air conditioners coming crashing down from neighbors' bedroom windows higher up in the building. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO RELAX??