Adventure

I finally did my ER rotation and it was amazing. Obviously, I was a little bit nervous before going. I met up with Dustin (classmate), and we were sporting our EMT shirts and hospital pants, looking really cool and official - we were ready to save lives, sort of.

The triage nurse at the ambulance drop-off entrance gave us our first instruction: "NO hands-on, you're observing ONLY." Ok ok, easy. We found a couple of chairs and started hanging out. First few minutes of doing nothing were long.

But then - a stab wound victim was rushed in by EMTs. Dustin and I ran along with the doctors, EMTs and nurses to the trauma room where they cut off the victim's clothes, inserted intravenous lines into his arms and started examining the wounds. Two cuts in his back.

I observed, Dustin observed, neither one of us got nauseous. As things settled down with the stab-wound patient, Dustin and I went back to our chairs doing nothing.

And then - a 50-year old lady with a broken leg was rushed in. Again, Dustin and I ran along with the doctors, EMTs and nurses to the trauma room where they uncovered the site of the injury. The bone (tibia) was sticking out of her leg! It was an open wound fracture, just like in our textbook (compound fracture). I observed, Dustin observed, neither one of us got nauseous.

Lots of other things happened that I can tell over a few beers - the 20-year old girl with palpitations whose heart had to be stopped and then started again to obtain a regular rhythm, the drunk woman in her thirties who tried to escape from her room where she was supposed to rest, the guy with asthma who did not respond to six treatments with nebulizers.

What an experience. Observing rocks. And I'm so relieved that I was able to stomach it all, did not get dizzy or nauseous, who would have thought. I guess other people's blood is less scary than my own blood, huh?

Today

Today was one of those classic days when I should have just stayed in bed. It started off with the Internet connection not working as I tried to go online this morning. This happens at times and I usually just futz around with the cords connected to the little Internet box on the floor, and that tends to do the trick.

Today, however, I futzed around for TWO hours with the frakking cords and nothing happened. I called my sister to ask her what the little box on the floor is called and she said: "It's a router." Ok, a router. I stomped over to Circuit City and picked up a new damn router.

Got back home, started installing and that's when I realized: the little box on the floor is not a router, it's a MODEM. Back to Circuit City, exchange router for modem, home again, trying to install. Now my sister's boyfriend was helping me. Still, the damn new little box didn't work either.

Called Time Warner, calls were dropped several times, got different people every time, they all said different things: "Stop by our service center, we'll give you a new modem" or "It's not the modem, it's the signal" or "Let me register your new modem and get rid of the old" or "Don't install the new one, we'll have a guy come over to look at the old one."

Almost crying. To top it all off, the freaking router gave me a charley horse as I was swinging it in my hands and it got stuck between my thigh and the lamp post on my way back to circuit crap.

Anywho, long story short. I finally gave up about 4pm and now, about 6:30pm the damn thing is working again. My old modem. I just wasted my whole day. And now I have two modems for no reason. URRRRGGGGH.

Face

One of my former bosses in research - Adam - taught me several important concepts. For instance, once he told me: "If you look at people's faces, they are either a horse, a bird or a muffin." Now, wherever I look I see horses, birds or muffins.

During a dull moment in class the other day, I shared my face-knowledge with a couple of class-mates sitting next to me. They immediately started seeing horses, birds and muffins too. We concluded that we have two definite muffins in our class and a whole bunch of horses and birds.

The concept spread that night. "Michelle is a bird," someone proclaimed thoughtfully as we we were heading out of the building, "but not in a bad way."

Dress

Went to Jesse's wedding today and it was really fun even though I had to wear a dress. I still haven't learned how to feel comfortable in a dress although I'm a grown-ass woman, so I usually just pretend it's Halloween. And then, after half-an hour or so, the wine starts to kick in and nothing really matters. Shoes don't even hurt.

Anyway, it was a lot of fun and Jesse and his girl make a cute couple.

Spring

What a beautiful day. Sunny blue skies, 75 degrees, no humidity. Just perfect. The neighborhood was bustling with activity. Sidewalk restaurants were packed with brunch-ers, brownstone stoops were occupied by beer-drinkers or Times-readers. Young couples were walking around with their annoying kids, cigarette-smoking people walked their cute dogs. Vegetable-and fruit stands galore. Spring is finally here.

Old lady to little kid (grand-daughter, perhaps): "See, this tree is starting to come out."
Little kid: "Wh-yyyy.....?"
Old lady: "Because it is spring!"
Little kid: "Wh-yyyy.....?"

Repentance

Instructor P is a retired NYPD homicide detective and a Vietnam vet. You can kind of tell, just by looking at him. He also has that working-class Brooklyn accent that is required in the PD and the fire department. Needless to say, although he's a 'great guy' we're all scared of him.

When I showed up for class today, my classmate Peg approached me.

Peg: "You are in deep trouble with Instructor P."
Me: "Me? Why?"
Peg: "Because you, Carmen and Yona left class yesterday before he had given the class permission to go."
Me: "We did?"
Peg: "Yeah. He's PISSED. He lectured the rest of us for ten minutes about how pissed he was that you guys had left already. "

An intense feeling of fear traveled from my stomach to my heart and down to my stomach again. Would he yell at me? But I'm the best student ever, I'm number one. He must love me. He must.

I ended up apologizing profusely before he even got a chance to reprimand me. Amazingly, this worked. From now on I will gladly apologize for anything, if need be.

I think I'm still number one, or at least among the top three.

Storm

Oh nooo, this nasty storm is entering the apartment. Rain water is sipping though the backyard door in the bedroom right now, what am I supposed to do? Do I call someone? Should I unplug electrical stuff? Do I put a wet towel under the door? Or that's probably to keep out smoke from fires... Sandbags! I need sandbags! Who the hell has sandbags at home? Who the hell has sandbags at all?? I'm just going to curl up into a ball and hide under the covers.

Grapling

As I looked out the bedroom window this morning, I saw the deli-cat basking in the sun in our yard. He looked happy and comfortable but I knew the deli guys have been worried about him running away, so I decided to carry the cat back to the deli.

Anyone who has tried to carry or hold a frightened cat knows this is a nearly impossible task, but a dumb part of me thought it would be different this time.

The deli-cat was fierce and vicious as we wrestled our way through the hallway and out onto the street. I got him in a choke-hold and he pierced his claws into the back of my shoulder, resulting in him screaming "meeeeeooooow" and me screaming "ooooouuuuuuuu".

I finally got a better grip around his belly and made a run for it. So there I was, 9am on a Saturday morning, running down the block with a screaming cat attached to my abdomen and shoulder.

I got quite a few dirty looks as we raced by the organic yoga people picking up veggies at the farmer's market. But the deli guys were happy to get their cat back, and I picked up some cereal and coffee.

Zai jian

My sister flew back to Beijing yesterday. The apartment feels strange without her.

No more half-empty Snapple-bottles left within disturbing proximity to my computer, no more weird hair products and strange shampoo containers in the bathroom, and no more random shopping bags or new shoes scattered across the living room floor.

And no more "hold my bag" while she re-ties her shoelaces every single block we're on, and no more "let's go in here" when we pass by stores.

No more questions on how to transfer songs to the iPod, and no more yelling "HOW DO I DELETE THIS SONG???" while I'm in the other room on the phone with the vet.

"Just press DELEEETE!"
"WHERE....???"
"ON THE FUCKING KEEEEEYBOOOOOOOAAAARD"

Still, the cat and I miss her already.

Japp

Went out with a Swedish posse to a few bars on Saturday. It was absolutely great hanging out with Swedes all night. Sarcasm was flowing freely among cocktails and beer, and more importantly, I got to use words like "skitbra" and "precis" and "va' faaan?" several times. How liberating.

Done

Thank God this is all over. No cancer, but they found some polyps that they have to test for potential cancer, or something like that. As I was coming back to consciousness I asked the doctor if it was ok for me to eat fries right away, and he said "sure" so my sister and I headed out to a pub on 78th street and had fries and other good stuff. Happy Good Friday.

20 hours

Ok, maybe for some people 7 hours (or even 11 hours) without food is not so bad. These people are wrong. It is bad. I made it through the night, and it's been 20 hours. I'm suffering. This is inhumane. I'm never doing this again.

11 hours

I've gone 11 hours without food. Not eating should be illegal. All that cleansing bullshit that weird people do should be even more illegal.

7 hours

I'm reaching the 7 hour mark of not eating. This is really difficult, being awake for seven hours without any type of food. I drank a bottle of vitamin water, maybe I'll have another one. I just fed the cat and he's all happy, purring as he's eating. Other than the cat, I won't allow anyone to eat inside my apartment until I can eat again.

Starved

Two days from now I will undergo a medical procedure which requires me to be on an empty stomach and empty...intestines (I will keep the gory details to myself, for now).

Anyway, this means I cannot eat for 24 hours. How can I do this? Not eating anything for a full day and night? It will not be possible. Maybe I'll pretend I'm celebrating a Jewish holiday.