Drrrrive

I had my third driving lesson today. The instructor makes me turn left a lot. All he says throughout the hour is: "turn left" and "left" and "make another left." He says that I turn too sharply or something. He also tells me to watch where I'm going. I have an old driver's license that expired years ago; it's not like I've never driven a car before, buddy. I still have to rehearse left turns.

Other things he makes me practice is parallel parking. That's ok. I'm not great at it, but I'm not terrible either. I can totally do it.

The weirdest thing he has me do is the "broken U-turn". At first I thought he said "Brooklyn U-turn" and I said: "Wow, there's a BROOKLYN U-turn, what is that like??" But there's not one. Anyway, here's what I don't get: Why teach students to make U-turns in the city?? In my book, nobody should make U-turns in NYC. Just drive around the freaking block if you went down the wrong street. No, let's screw up traffic even more and have a bunch of idiots make U-turns left and right. I really don't get that.

Sleepy

I've fallen asleep a couple of times at work. This might not seem like a big deal if you work in an office or something, but I do massage. I've fallen asleep massaging. Just dosing off, but still. I don't think any clients have noticed yet. This only happens if I have a 7:30am appointment, by the way. I have to get used to getting up early. Although I only need to get up early once or twice a week. Anyway.

...what...huh?

When I'm old I hope I'll remember that when I was young, say in my twenties and thirties, I used to forget things all the time.

For example, I head to the bedroom from the living room and on the way over I forget why I'm going there. Or, I can never find my keys or my metro card. Or, I can't remember why I went to the store, for what...what do I need...what do I need? I buy stuff, go home, and realize that the reason I really went to the store was to pick up toilet paper, the one thing I didn't get.

Or today, I was craving a Sprite Zero (they're good) and headed to the deli. I picked up the Sprite, paid for it, went home and... where's my Sprite? It was nowhere to be found. Went back to the deli - and there it was, still on the counter.

This is what I shall remember when I'm old: poor memory is nothing new. Just how it's always been. (Have I written about this before...?)

DM f-ing V

A few years ago when I went to the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my NY State ID, there was a five hour wait for service. A FIVE hour wait (the estimated waiting time is printed on the ticket you pick up when you enter, that's how you know). I actually walked back home, took a shower, read a book, had lunch, watched TV. I returned to the DMV just as they called my number.

Yesterday I went to the DMV again, this time to get my driver's license permit. Everything went smoothly. I took a written test for my driver's license (passed it), got my picture taken (looking fabulous as always), did my vision test (passed it), and paid the fee (credit card approved). All within 45 minutes. Unbelievable.

The only weird part was that the DMV lady who was processing my paper work kept falling asleep. That's never good. At first I wasn't sure what was going on, she just stopped writing and kept the pen glued to the approval document. Was there something wrong with my information?? After twenty seconds or so she would come to it and start writing again. Then she'd dose off again. I became a little unsure of how to act. Should I tap her shoulder and wake her up? "Excuse me, can you just finish writing down the information that will go on MY DRIVER'S LICENSE, and nap later....?"

I decided not to reach over and touch this woman. I decided it would be better to pretend nothing is going on. She's not asleep, she's handling my stuff perfectly.

The dosing-off episodes continued and I started to worry that the lady might be experiencing partial seizures. The symptoms can be quite similar. How awful of me to ignore her seizures! What do I do, what do I do, what do I do, my license, my license, my license, I want my license (or something less selfish).

Luckily, another DMV person walked by and woke the lady up. Sleeping lady with my important documents muttered: "Maaaan, I'm sooo tired today....."

I still got out of there within 45 minutes. Unbelievable.

Babies galore

Every block around where I live and work is crowded with couples and their babies. Strollers, pregnant ladies, daddies with babybjorn carriers, babies crying, babies laughing, babies talking gibberish, babies taking their first steps, more pregnant ladies - this is what I see ALL day long.

Park Slope has long been known as a "baby-stroller-neighborhood" (at least for the past 10 years or so), but the babies are spreading. For example, Carroll Gardens currently has the highest concentration of babies between 1-3 years old per square mile in the country - in the country. How did this happen? Why in Brooklyn?

My theory is that all the hipsters that lived in Williamsburg and Dumbo back in the '90s finally matured and got fancy jobs. No way any self-respecting Brooklynite would move to the suburbs to do the 'family-thing', so they all they coupled up and moved to the brownstone belt to procreate. I think that's cool. I do. I'm not against any of this... Although the whole baby thing has gotten a little bit out of control, can't deny that...

I have to go snuggle with my cats now.

Egg & Cheese please

I go to the coffee shop to get my usual egg and cheese sandwich that I always get during my break at work (=in between massage appointments).

The coffee guy behind the counter says:
- "Hey, you didn't pay for your sandwich last time you were here!"
- "Really, I didn't...?"
- "No, I remember now, now that I see your face and all, you didn't pay last time."
- "Oh, I'm so sorry... let me pay for it now then, I can't remember what happened last time."

And then the coffee guy tells me not to worry about it - "it's fine" - and I think: "cool, that means I got a free sandwich." But then I see the grumpy look on his face and he says "you know, I shouldn't even have mentioned it, since I'm not even gonna charge you" so I say:
"hey, I have a twenty right here, just charge me twice for the sandwich I'm getting now." And he does.

As I sit down to eat I'm thinking it's good that we sorted that out; I don't want to be remembered as the girl who didn't pay for her food, especially since I go there every week. But then I'm thinking, what if this dude is wrong? Maybe I DID pay him and he was just spacing out at the time...

Inevitably, I have to think of him as the guy who charged me twice for a stupid sandwich.