Television

There are about ten networks (or TV channels) in all when you subscribe to basic cable in Sweden. First, there are the two nationwide nets (state-owned) that I guess are equivalent to the broadcast nets in the States - they're called SVT 1 and SVT 2. There are no commericals on these state-owned channels which means you can practically never go to the bathroom while watching SVT 1 or 2.

When cable was introduced in the 80's , TV 3 and TV 4 popped up, both with limited commercial time (TV 4 only had short commercials in between programs). As a kid I loved this new thing called 'commercial' (or 'reklam' in Swedish) and I would never go to the bathroom during one.

Today, the other basic channels include TV 4 Plus, Kanal 5, TV 6, Eurosport, Discovery Channel and MTV Europe. That's pretty much it.

About 30%, maybe 35%, of the programming is in English (this is my own estimate and may not be accurate at all, but probably it is). American sit-coms, dramas and movies, and British sit-coms, dramas and movies galore. Everyone on MTV speaks with a British accent, or with some European accent.

Many of the shows are the same as in the US, but they're produced in the UK. For example - and this is almost sacrilege - "Pimp My Ride" on MTV Euro is hosted by some scrawny, spindly English bloke instead of x to the z Xzibit. That's just not right.

When you turn on the Discovery channel, you get either TLC, Animal Planet, or Discovery Science, it's completely random. It's a medley. And the voice-over is never American.

The game shows seem more brutal here than in the US. In the States you always have the "good cop/bad cop" thing among the judges, Paula and Simon, but here it's almost exclusively "bad cop/bad cop" - "aaaaaand you just lost ten million quid, that's a bloody shame, isn't it?"

On Swedish-speaking channels, weather is extremely important. Not in the tacky American way where the weather forecast is entertainment and a window to other people's misery - flooding, tornadoes, storms. In Sweden weather is all about praying for sun. There's no friendly banter between anchormen, no smiles, no joking around... just straight business. Will the skies be gray? Will there be sun? Each weather map has at least five layers of information that are completely incomprehensible to the untrained eye.

Oh, I almost forgot Danish TV - DR 1 and TV 2. Pretty much the same as Swedish 1 and 2 but they speak much, much sillier.